Thus Spake Ninder
Narendra Pal Singh, a retired army colonel and brother disciple of mine, recently got into samadhi (deep meditative) state. He has shared his inner experience through poems. We both are disciples of our Guru Per Harald Wibe whom I lovingly call as Norwegian Muni.
निंदर पड़ा हुआ था, जैसे कोयला मुहाने खदान पर |
गुरु ने उठाया, सोखी कालिख, चेला बना लिया हूं || १
Nindar was lying unattended on the ground nearby at the esture of coal mine. Guru saw and hugged him with love and took him along. He accepted him as his disciple, taught him and initiated into Kriya. Guru removed his ignorance and polished his personality.
गुरु शिष्य का सम्बन्ध भी आधारित प्रारब्ध, निंदर |
आभार उनका और उसका भी, गुरु शरण पा गया हूं || २
Guru and disciple relationship is also based on disciple’s past life impressions. Disciple pays gratitude to the Guru and Supreme power both, for showing empathy towards him. Guru has taken him under his refuge and accepted him as his disciple.
नरेन्द्र था मैं दुनियां की नज़र में, गुरु दीक्षा से पहले |
अक्टूबर आठ को ली दीक्षा तब से निंदर हो गया हूं || ३
I was known to be as Narendra in the world before initiation. Narendra means a man who is superior among all human being. The day he was initiated into Kriya, he became Nindar. He is no-thing now.
शब्द “निंदर” का अर्थ कुछ नहीं और ना ही पहिचान |
गुरु का आभार, जागरूक हूं, निस्वार्थ कर्म कर रहा हूं || ४
Nindar is merely a word and it has no meaning and without any identification. He is no-thing. He pays gratitude to the Guru in awareness and now he is living a selfless life.
गुरु इशारा, फील करना गुफा में बाबा, क्रिया करते |
नहीं दिखे बाबाजी, मैं मायूस और हैरान हो रहा हूं || ५
After initiation all disciples were directed to Baba ji cave for meditating inside. Before proceeding to cave, Guru advised that while meditating feel presence of Baba ji inside the cave. After reaching there, Ninder did meditation inside the cave along with Ajay Kumar Gupta but Narendra doesn’t see any one except he himself and his friend Ajay Kumar Gupta. Nindar became disappointed and surprised not to see Baba ji inside the cave.
दीक्षा के पांच महीने बाद की एक अनुभूति :
Experience after 5 months:
मार्च महीने में देख रहा था चित्रों को फ़ोन में एक दिन |
आश्चर्य से ऑंखें फटी, गुरु को पीठ पीछे बैठा देख रा हूं || ६
During the month of March, one day Nindar was refreshing retreat memories. He saw a photograph wherein he was meditating alone. Narendra had requested Ajay Kumar Gupta for taking a snap as he already went outside the cave and on my request he took this snap from my mobile. My eyes widened with surprise when I saw an image of someone sitting behind my back.
My present mental state after practicing Kriya for four years.
अब नहीं कोई पथ भ्रम की स्थिति, निंदर |
जीवन की नाव को सही दिशा में खे रहा हूँ || ७
There is no possibility of conflict/ confusion of any kind in my life. Things are very clear to me. Therefore I am giving right direction to the boat of my life I am rowing.
आपसी सम्बन्ध भी हो गए अब बेहतरीन |
जीवन के मायने सही, जो समझने लगा हूँ|| ८
Now my relationship with everyone is good. What is life, I could understand its meaning.
कभी मुश्किल लगता था जीवन का सफर |
अब तो शांत झील की तरह मैं हो गया हूँ || ९
Sometimes it appeared that life’s journey is very difficult. That time is over. Now I am observing silence and become like a peaceful lake.
तू भी जीवन, मुझे भी अहसास कि “मैं हूं” |
इस अहसास से ही मैं भी जीवन हो गया हूं || १०
Ninder indicating his Guru that you are Life and I also realized that “I am”. With this feeling I too become Life (God).
जीवन में ना रहा तनाव निंदर के अब कोई|
बिना प्रतिरोध के, ख़ुशी जीवन जी रहा हूँ || ११
There is no tension remain in my life now. I am living blissful happy life without any internal resistance.
चित्त प्रसन्न,शांत, और मेरे नियंत्रण में हुआ |
ध्यान में डूबा गहरा, मैं कूटस्थ देख रहा हूँ || १२
I am happy, calm and becoming peaceful. I am in control of my mind. While meditating I keep on watching Kutastha’s ( Krishna Consciousness) silvery light.
ध्यान की गहराइयों की खोलता परतें अब |
अनंत आकाश में विचरणे जो अब लगा हूँ || १३
During deep meditation, I felt various stages of consciousness and sometimes I felt as I am floating in the infinite space.
कभी होता था निंदर पाषाण की तरह कठोर|
मालिक ख़ुशी का हूं , दया से पिघलने लगा हूँ|| १४
Before initiation into Kriya I was rigid and tough to everyone now became king of happiness and feel empathy towards them who are in pain and misery.
नींद जो दूर की कौढ़ी होती थी उन रातों की|
अब मालूम है मुझे, मैं गहरी नींद सो रहा हूँ || १५
Before initiation I didn’t have deep sleep. It was rare. But now I know that I am enjoying deep sleep.
वाकिफ़ अपने विचारों से निंदर इन दिनों मैं |
भूत न भविष्य, वर्तमान में,जो रहने लगा हूँ||१६
Now a days I have a close watch over my thoughts, emotions and I don’t think of any past and future events and memories, I remain in present moment.
मुक़ाम जिंदगी का हासिल,गुरु की कृपा से |
ध्यान में डूबा गहरा,आनंदित तरंग हो गया हूँ ||१७
Having been gone under refuge of my Master who is showering his grace over me. With this achievement I met objectives of my life. Diving deep into Kriya becoming blissful wave.
नाद, प्रणव का सुनता रात दिन, गुरु कृपा से |
लगता है प्रणव नाद का अब श्रोत हो गया हूँ ||१८
With grace of my Master I hear constantly sound of AUM. It appears that I am becoming the source of AUM naad (sound).
कहते सभी लोग हैं कि तू कण कण में व्यापित |
सच है, अपनी कहूँ , मैं माथे पे कूटस्थ देख रहा हूँ||१९
It is generally said by the people that Almighty is contained in everything, every where, all time. This concept of Almighty is true to me. Being in this state of mind I see kutasth (Krishna Consciousness) in between of my eyebrows.
फूल लता पत्तियों को देखता था मैं पहले भी |
नज़रिया बदला, उनमें अपने को देख रहा हूँ ||२०
I used to see flower, leaves and creepers earlier also but observation was not so deep. This used to be casual observation and not in awareness. Now my perception has reversed and I started seeing my reflection in them.
कहते सुना है लोगों को,जीवन बड़ा है मुश्किल|
मुश्किल आसां प्रारब्ध तेरा, तुझे समझा रहा हूँ ||२१
Heard people saying that life is very difficult to live. Difficulties and joyful life of yours is because of your past life -impressions. That is what I am trying to convince you.
जिस वृक्ष की डाल पे बैठे, उसे काट रहे लोग |
कितने अनजान हैं ये जन, मैं मायूस हो रहा हूँ||२२
People are cutting the stem of a tree over which they are sitting. How innocent these people are? Perhaps they are unaware what they are doing. I am disappointed to see them doing this.
क्रिया की शिक्षा देने से बड़ा कर्म नहीं दुनियां में |
लोगों को आकर्षित करने का काम कर रहा हूं ||२३
Meditate and draw others to this path of Self- realization, that is the highest service you can perform. I am doing that work.
इस प्रयास से कोई एक भी जन समझ ले जीवन |
यह हो गया गर संभव, भगीरथ प्रयास कर रहा हूं ||२४
In this case with the good intentions if I could be successful in drawing a single person on this path I would achieve my objective, that is what I am doing.
जब तक रहूँ जीवित,इस धरा पर मैं अब निंदर |
समझाता रहूँगा इन जनों को, संकल्प ले रहा हूँ ||२५
Till I am alive on this planet I will keep on drawing people on this path. I am taking this resolution / resolve.
लिखूंगा कविता भी इस आशय से मैं अब निंदर | अनिच्छुक हें पढ़े कौन,फिर भी यत्न कर रहा हूँ||२६
I will keep on composing couplets ( poetry) with this intention. I know that people are unwilling to read, despite this, I am putting efforts.
न जागरूक लोग अनजान अपने भले और बुरे से |
उनकी चेतना को जित्ता संभव, झकजोर रहा हूँ ||२७
People are unaware of what is good or bad to them so I am trying to make them aware as much as I can do.
रोज रोज पत्थर पर मिट्टी का घड़ा रखने पर भी |
पत्थर पे पड़ जाते निशान, वही प्रयास कर रहा हूँ ||२८
If you place a pitcher on stone at one place regularly for a long period it leaves mark on stone. I am putting in similar efforts.
परहित,परोपकार से बड़ा कोई उपकार नहीं यहाँ |
इसी सोच के साथ, चेतना का विस्तार कर रहा हूँ ||२९
In order to think and do in the interest of other people, neglecting self interest, is biggest service on this planet so far. I am putting efforts for expanding my consciousness.
मौन का मतलब अधिकतर लोग समझें न बोलना |
इशारों से करें बात, मन धूर्त, उन्हें मैं चेता रहा हूँ||३०
People misunderstood word silence. They generally take it, not to speak and they talk even more with gesticulation. Their mind is sly and machiavellian and chattering more than speaking. I am warning them for not doing it.
जिसने लिया जन्म वह मरता है जरूर, ये सब जाने | दीक्षा के पहले मरा हुआ सा, अब जिन्दा हो गया हूं || ३१
Who took birth has to die one day, everyone of us know this truth. I was also unaware of reality before initiation so had felt like a dead person before initiation. Now I am aware and alive with the grace of my Master.
परखा, देखा, सुना भी है, मौत से डरते हुए लोगों को |
निंदर पे गुरु की कृपा, मैं मौत से अपना प्यार देखरा हूं||३२
I have observed and seen a feeling of fear into eyes of people. I see my love with the Death which is ‘form transformation’. This transformation has been developed in me due to my Master’s grace.
जीवन और मृत्यु दोनों, जीवन प्रक्रिया की एक यात्रा |
मैं सम्पूर्ण, प्रसन्न, संत्रप्त जीवन संतोष से जी रहा र्हूं || ३३
Life and Death both are two sides of a coin in the process of Life’s journey. I am completely complete, blissful and satisfied and living content Life.
मैं गवाह ही तो हूं, अपने विचार, भावना, कर्मों का |
जो कुछ भी हो रहा है, अंदर बाहर, सब देख रहा हूं || ३४
I am witness of my thoughts, emotions and actions. So whatever is happening in my life I am aware of everything.
सीख ले ली है गुरु से मैंने, सही और ग़लत फैसले की |
दी अंतरदृष्टि उसने, उसी से उत्कृष्ट फैसले ले रहा हूं || ३५
I have learnt skills of taking right decisions in my life from my Master. He gave me insights so I am taking right decisions in right time.
प्राणी का जन्म लेना, उसको मिले पुन: एक अवसर |
कर्म बंधन निपटाने का, मैं वही काम तो कर रहा हूं || ३६
Human Being got an opportunity to take birth for correcting past impressions and I am doing that only.
खो दिया गर इस अवसर को, लेना पड़े फिर पुनर्जन्म |
इसलिए तो गुरु के बताये रास्ते पर निरंतर चल रहा हूं ||३७
If I lost this opportunity now, I am bound to take rebirth, therefore I am following religiously the path Master told me to move on.
प्रारब्ध के कारण दुनियां आया, यहाँ सब ईश कर रहा |
मैं नहीं हूं कर्ता, वही कर्ता, मैं केवल गवाह बन देखरा हूं ||३८
Everyone take rebirth on this planet due to their past life impressions but I saw here everything is happening on its own and He is doing that. I am not doer I am merely a witness.
निंदर और वह है तो एक ही, नहीं कोई विशेष अंतर |
वह अनंत सागर, मैं गंगा, मिलने की जुगत कर रा हूं ||३९
Nindar says that He and me both are one, no specific difference. He is infinite sea and I am Ganga, eagerly intenting to merge into sea.
वह है सोना और मैं सोने की अंगूठी, दोनों ही सोना |
घटनायें चेतना पर हो रहीं, मैं जीवन हूं सो जी रहा हूं ||४०
He is Gold and I am a ring made of gold both are gold. Events are happening on the surface of the consciousness. I am Life, so living with the body.
जीवन जीने को उसने दिया दिमाग़ एक शस्त्र मुझे |
मुझे नहीं कोई सरोकार, तन की सुरक्षा कर रहा हूं || ४१
Almighty has given me mind as a tool to lead a secure and safe life. I have nothing to do with this tool, this is meant for the safety and security of the body.
आसक्ति की डोर से बंधन में बंधा हुआ था जीवन |
हुई विरक्ति चेतना, अनंत व्योम में गरुड़ हो गया हूं || ४२
Life is bound with the chain of attachment. When consciousness became detached from this binding, I started flying high in the infinite space like a Garud vehicle of Lord Vishnu.
क्रिया पहले भी करता था, गुरु की बताई विधि से |
सुनूं नाद अनंत, तन विलुप्त पर क्रिया कर रहा हूं || ४३
I used to do Kriya as my Master told me to do it. After practicing with more intensity now Kriya is so effective that I started hearing ॐ naad and celestial music and I feel at times that I am weightless and have sense that I don’t have body mass.
शरीर तब तक मेरे साथ, जब तक जरुरत है मुझे |
बाद यह मिलेगा अपने श्रोत, निंदर मिलेगा अपने || ४४
This body is with me till I require it. After my death, this body will merge into its source and I would merge into my source.
रहता दुनियां में, न दूँ अपनी कोई भी प्रतिक्रिया |
देखता हूं सब कुछ होते हुए, साक्षी जो बन गया हूं || ४५
I live in this world without giving any reaction to any body. I see everything happening because I become witness of each and every happening.
बाहरी ख़ुशी, इन्द्रियां आधारित, अस्थाई, क्षणिक |
अंदर की ख़ुशी दे शांति, ख़ुशी का श्रोत हो गया हूं || ४६
Bliss or happiness which I get from outer world are based on five senses ( shabd, sparsh, rup, ras, gandh). They are temporary, momentry and for a shorter-time. But the true and permanent peaceful happiness I get from inner world. I became source of inner happiness.
अब नहीं रही कोई चाहत, भान, मान सम्मान का |
दुनियां की नज़र से देखूँ, वैरागी अब मैं हो गया हूं || ४७
Now there is no desire left, no sense of respect and disrespect to me. If I see with the eyes of the wordly people I become recluse now.
चेतना की तीन अवस्थायें :जाग्रत, स्वप्न, सुसुप्त |
तीनों के प्रति जागरूक, परमचेतन्य सा हो गया हूं ||४८
There are three states of consciousness : waking, dreaming and dreamless. I am aware of these three states. I become ‘That’ Paramchaitanya.
लोगों का दुत्कारना भी नहीं करता अब प्रभावित |
सम भाव से दुनियां में, एक ही सत्य मानने लगा हूं || ४९
If some one disrespects me for any rhyme and reason, I am not affected now. I live in this world with even state of mind. Because I believe in non-duality now.
लोगों को आश्चर्य “अब मैं देता न कोई प्रतिक्रिया “|
उन्हें क्या पता कि मैं दुनियां में जीना सीख गया हूं || ५०
People who know me, are surprised to see my behaviour because I don’t give any reaction to their views. Perhaps I learnt skills to live peacefully in this world.
कामुकता, दुःख, दुर्गति, दासता की जननी, बंधन |
क्रिया से ज्ञात हो,”मैं कौन” बंधन मुक्त हो गया हूं || ५१
Sensuality is mother of misery, pain, boundation and slavery. People who perform Kriya can reveal ‘who am I’ and I am liberated now
गुरु दीक्षा से नया जन्म मिला, विधाता की मंजूरी से | पता नहीं था मैं कौन हूं?अपने आप को जान गया हूं|| ५२
Guru has given me a new meaningful rebirth by initiating me into Kriya. Almighty might have approved my initiation. I don’t know who I was. But now I know who am I.
मूर्ख आनंदित हों स्पर्श कर के दूसरे जन का शरीर |
हुयी अनंत कृपा गुरु की , इन्द्रियों पै राज कर रा हूं || ५३
Fools feel delighted by touching body of another opposite sex. I am thankful to my Master I am ruling my sense organs.
जन तन: रक्त, पीव, हड्डी, बलगम, मांस का टुकड़ा |
ये दूषित तत्व, रहूं इनके ही साथ, कमल हो गया हूं || ५४
Human-being’s body is store of blood, urine, bone, flesh, and mucus. All are contaminated elements and I live with them as Lotus is flowering in the mud.
निंदर अंतर समझ लिया गुरु से आत्मा व शरीर का |
हुआ दुखों का अंत, आनंद में डूबा अवधूत हो गया हूं ||५५
Ninder I understood difference between Soul and body from the Master. Now my miseries are over. I am diving deep in Anand and become Avadhut ( Yogi).
पहले भी मेरा व्यक्तित्व था पूर्ण, ओर न थी परख |
अब परखा तो ऐसा कि सम्पूर्णानन्द ही ही गया हूं || ५६
My personality was complete earlier also but I was unaware of it. Insights have developed now and I become Sat- Anand- Bliss now.
निंदा और प्रशंशा का होता था बड़ा असर मुझ पर |
इनके मायने न अब कोई, बेअसर जो हो गया हूं || ५७
I used to be affected with praise and criticism earlier. Now they are meaningless to me. I am ineffective from them.
नदियों के विकराल प्रवाह से मैं था प्रभावित बहुत |
अब तो काशी में ही, गंगा कि पवित्र धार हो गया हूं || ५८
I was scared of horrible flow of rivers. Now I become as holy flow of Ganga in Kashi.
जनता था तो हर वस्तु जीव मैं व्यापे, मौज़ूद सब मैं |
देखूँ सभी मैं अपना रूप, अब मैं तू जो हो गया हूं || ५९
I knew that every object and living being contained You. Now I see my reflection in each of them. I become You.
तू ही शिकार तू ही शिकारी, बड़ी थी उलझन मन की |
ऋषियों ने सिखाया अद्वैत, सभी मैं आपा देख रहा हूं ||६०
You are hunter and prey as well. I was confused. Our sages taught us non-duality. Since then I see my reflection in every creature.
मैं ही साधक,साध्य साधना, मैं स्वर वाद्य, वादक भी |
मैं ही तानसेन, मैं ही वीणा अब सरस्वती हो गया हूं || ६१
I am disciple, Almighty and Kriya abhyas as well. I am chord, instrument and one who play on it. I am Tansen ( famous musician during Moghal king Akbar regime ). I am instrument Veena now and Goddess Sarswati as well.
भूवासी अनभिज्ञ हैं यक़ीनन सुविचार मंथन से निंदर |
जहाँ रहूं फैलाऊं अपनी खुशबू, सुर्ख गुलाब हो गया हूं || ६२
People are truly unaware of my effective contemplating views. Although I spread my scent where I stay. I become red rose flower.
जब तक मन नहीं रहेगा स्थिर और शांत, क्रिया अधूरी |
मन है शांत और स्थिर, अब क्रिया योगी जो हो गया हूं || ६३
Until and unless my mind wouldn’t be still and calm, my Kriya is half done. Now my mind is full of peace and still because I become Kriya Yogi.
अज्ञान की धूल,पड़ा था पर्दा, गुरु ने उठा दिया |
तस्वीर हुई साफ, अब मैं खुद को ही देख रहा हूं ||६४
Earlier I was covered with dust of ignorance and curtain as well. This I am saying with awareness that image has become clear and I am looking myself in it (consciousness ).
बहुत आभारी हूं गुरु का जागरूकता से कह रहा |
रहा ही नहीं भ्रम, जागरूक हूं अब मैं चेत गया हूं || ६५
I am very grateful to my Master, this I am saying with awareness that confusion / conflict in mind has disappeared and I become aware of Chaitanya.
मन के घोड़ों को हाँक रहा हूं, उनकी लगाम मेरे हाथ |
घोड़े जाते ही अब उधर हैं जहां मैं उन्हें ले जा रहा हूं ||६६
I am driving horses of my mind and I am in full control of them. Now horses are driven there, where I want them to drive.
अब कोई सवाल ही शेष ना रहा, न अब जवाब ही |
सवाल, जवाब दोनों मैं, हर नज़र में पागल हो गया हूं ||६७
Now there is no question left to ask and replying to the question is irrelevant. I am both question and answer as well. This is the state of my mind now. In the opinion of people around they consider me as a mad man.
देश की सीमा का न करूँ आदर, मनोस्थिति ऐसी |
वसुधैव कुटम्बकम में आस्था अब पवन हो गया हूं ||६८
My mental state now is like, I don’t respect of boundaries of anykind. I believe, those who live on this planet are members of one family. Now I am like a wind, flowing every where.